The Plan
by justanormalgirl357
Summary: The day Harry fancies Malfoy is the day I suck your big toe. HarryDraco SeamusDean oneshot


Title: The Plan  
Rating: PG13  
Genre: Romance/Humor  
Summary: "The day Harry fancies Malfoy is the day I suck your big toe."  
Pairing: Harry/Draco, Seamus/Dean  
Length: 1643

* * *

"Look," Seamus murmured, pointing to the table in front of them and to one on the left. "See Harry and Malfoy?"

Dean switched his gaze between the two of them. "Am I supposed to be actually seeing something or just them?" he muttered out of the corner of his mouth, mindful to make sure Snape wouldn't take points off Gryffindor for them talking.

Seamus chuckled softly and stirred the potion counterclockwise seven times before replying, "Harry keeps looking at Malfoy. And then Malfoy keeps looking at Harry whenever he's not looking at him."

Dean blinked. "So."

A foot tapped his under the table. "Don't you get it, Dean? They fancy each other but don't know it." He fell into a fit of laughter, and Dean simply shook his head at him.

"The day Harry fancies Malfoy is the day I suck your big toe."

Seamus' laughter cut of short. "Really? Because that's kind of appealing to me." He waggled his eyebrows, sending a blush to flair across Dean's cheeks.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for talking," Snape said icily. Hermione shot the pair of them a hurt glare, no doubt angry that they had gotten rid of her previous points in Herbology.

When they were bottling the potion, Seamus turned to Dean, his eye alit, showing he had an idea. Dean groaned, "Yes?"

"No, no, no. It's a good one." He paused for dramatics then couldn't hold it in any longer and said in a rush, "We can set Harry and Malfoy up. Yes." He stroked his chin thoughtfully, waving his hand for Dean to shut his mouth and not protest. "Yes, a game of truth or dare. That'll be an easy way to go. Yes, I'll get Malfoy to come into a room and you'll get Harry. We'll all pretend to play truth or dare and set them up by making them kiss or something. And then, then you'll see and you will have to suck on my toe!"

Harry and Ron turned in their seats to stare at him. Dean laughed awkwardly and Snape took more points away. Ron grimaced and turned around while Harry mouthed "Suck on his toe?" Dean was glad Seamus had only yelled that part instead of the rest or there would have been more questions.

Once class was over and they were walking down the hallway Dean informed Seamus his view of the plan as he was still talking about. "It's ridiculous. Harry doesn't fancy Malfoy. He hates him. And you'll be sorry if you do that because Harry and Malfoy'll kill you. Besides, you wouldn't be able to get Malfoy in a room. You'd end up telling him your plan or scaring him off."

Seamus stopped, making Dean bump into him. "That's perfect, Dean!" he exclaimed, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss before saying, "You'll get Malfoy in a room, and I'll get Harry. You won't spoil our plan."

"Yours," Dean corrected fruitlessly.

"Whatever, it's perfect!"

* * *

"Malfoy!" Dean called, stopping the blond. He couldn't believe he was doing this. But Seamus was very convincing with his hands. It always amazed Dean what he could do with them.

"Yes," Malfoy drawled. Parkinson quirked an eyebrow at him while Crabbe and Goyle cracked their knuckles threateningly. Just what had Seamus gotten him into?

Dean walked a little closer before biting his lip, wondering how to go about saying it. He hadn't really planned ahead. "Can I talk to you? Alone?"

Parkinson snorted and poked Malfoy in the back, whispering something. Crabbe (or Goyle, Dean couldn't tell them apart) had stopped cracking his knuckles to, instead, stare at a fly buzzing around.

"Anything you have to say can be said around us," Parkinson sneered, her face a mixture of amusement and disdain.

"Fine." Dean didn't want to put up with this. "It's about Harry." And to Dean utter surprise Malfoy stopped smirking, his eyes flickering concern before turning back to cold. Could Seamus be right? He whispered something to Parkinson, who rolled her eyes and waved him off.

The other Slytherins left and Dean waited until they were the only ones in the hallway before speaking. "So, Harry wants you." It was the only thing that popped into his head! Dean almost clapped his hand to his mouth but resisted and made his rising hand scratch his nose.

Malfoy raised his eyebrows, a skeptical look on his face. "That's…interesting. But why should I care?"

Dean sighed heavily and passed a hand over his face. How was he supposed to get Malfoy to go down two whole floors and into an empty classroom without telling? Was he supposed to grab and drag? What would Seamus have done? So he did what Seamus would have most likely done. He told the plan.

"Seamus, Harry and I are going to play a game of truth or dare. You're invited. The idea of the game is that Seamus wants to set you two up. So come if you want."

He felt gratification at the sight of Malfoy's usual calm façade falling. He was actually gaping. Dean felt childish giggling rising up inside him.

"Um." He rubbed his nose and shifted his gaze around before saying, "You'll dare him not me."

Dean nodded. "Sure. Follow. They're there already, probably." He set of down the hallway, Malfoy's footsteps echoing with his. He wondered what other people would think if they saw them walking together. "Oh, and Harry doesn't know about any of this."

* * *

"What's going on?" Harry asked a few seconds after staring at Dean and Malfoy. Dean shot Seamus a look. Maybe Malfoy fancied Harry but Harry surely couldn't fancy him.

"We're going to play truth or dare!" Seamus said, bounding over to the door and shutting it. Harry kept staring at Malfoy but sat down when Seamus pushed him.

"Okay," Harry said slowly. Malfoy rolled his eyes. "But that doesn't explain why _he's_ here." He pointed at Malfoy, finger swirling wildly in indignation.

"Erm," Seamus muttered. He looked at Dean, who sighed and sat down. Malfoy followed after and sat beside him, his eyes never leaving Harry. "Well, we -"

Dean cut in before Seamus could spill the plan with, "It's not really a game with only three people."

Harry nodded. "Ron could've played."

"Truth or dare, Harry," Seamus asked loudly, unsubtly changing the subject.

Harry glanced between the three of them before his lips started forming the word 'Truth.' But before he said anything Malfoy snorted and muttered something that sounded like 'Chicken.' Apparently, that settled Harry for he glared at Malfoy before saying "Dare."

Seamus bounced in his seat and shouted in joy, "Strip for us! But make it a striptease - dance, whatever. You have to be dancing and striping." Dean dropped his head into his hands. He knew he should have talked to Seamus beforehand about what he was going to have them do.

Harry opened and closed his mouth in surprise. Malfoy smirked. "Well, there's no music. I can't dance without music. Guess you'll have to pick a different one." He smiled cockily at Seamus.

"That can be easily arranged," Malfoy said, drawing his wand out and waving it in the air. Suddenly a song sprinkled out of the walls. Dean was slightly impressed. Harry was, to say the least, not. He gave Malfoy a glare then stood. Dean couldn't believe he was going to do it, and neither could Malfoy by the look on his face. Seamus catcalled, making Harry blush.

First Harry moved his hips to the beat of the song, rolling them around. It looked quite funny. Then he squeezed his eyes shut and kicked his shoes off, tripping slightly. The three watchers burst into laughter.

He toed his socks off ungracefully, losing balance, and spilling into Seamus' lap. Seamus was laughing so hard all he could do was shove half-heartedly at Harry. Dean heard Malfoy's laughter become quieter but Dean wasn't worried. Really, Seamus wouldn't do anything to Harry.

Harry stood back up and unzipped his trousers. His was chewing on his lips, his hips still swinging dangerously, and it looked so funny. He tried moving his legs a bit, dancing, but he was also pulling his trousers down so he stumbled and had to stop dancing to pull it off.

"Woo! Go, Harry. Take it all off!" Seamus called, his voice broken by laughter as he bent forward, clutching at his stomach.

Harry threw his head back in embarrassment and pulled his boxers down in one fluid motion. Seamus tried catcalling again but only dissolved into giggles, Dean following him. But Malfoy let out a strangled gasp.

The music still spilled out of the walls but Harry had stopped dancing. He was staring straight at Malfoy, his face covered in confusion. Malfoy bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows at him to continue.

And then Harry smirked. He trailed a hand down his shirt-clad chest and over his cock, bringing forth heavy breathing from Malfoy. Dean and Seamus had long since stopped laughing. Dean watched in fascination while Seamus watched hungrily, his mouth wide open.

Harry murmured something to himself before walking forward and dropping onto Malfoy's lap, making the blond stare in surprise at him. They locked eyes and Harry unclasped Malfoy's robes, pushing it off his shoulders and then starting on his shirt.

Malfoy moaned and wrapped his arms around the brunette, placing his hands on Harry's arse and kneading it.

Dean figured they weren't going to be done anytime soon. He stood and tugged on Seamus' arm. His boyfriend seemed unwilling to leave so Dean had to all but drag him out of there. Once the door shut behind them, Seamus turned to Dean.

"Gosh," he breathed, fanning himself. "That was hot…So," he smiled impishly. "When are you going to suck my big toe?" Dean grumbled.


End file.
